I am changing...

Starting Weight: 195
Current Weight: 190

Two weeks in and 5 pounds down. I'm feeling pretty good about this lifestyle change I'm making for myself. There have been some bumps and setbacks but what's important to remember is that I'm making progress. I have to look myself in the mirror every day and remind myself that lasting change is a slow change...but I am changing.

How do I know I'm changing? Well, the way I feel after eating certain things I used to love is a strong indication. First week of changing my eating habits I allowed myself a cheat meal. I did this because I think my self-deprivation habits in the past is what caused me to fail...but anyway. My cheat meal for the week was honey bbq chicken wings and breadsticks from Pizza Hut (don't judge). Eating this used to make me happy. Sure, I felt stuffed but I always felt satisfied. This time was different though. I felt DISGUSTING. I immediately regretted that meal and just felt gross. But, besides feeling gross, I felt like I accomplished a goal. My body, after less than a week of choosing a healthy lifestyle, wanted to eat healthy foods. My body has now started to crave water instead of pop (though I will admit when that cherry coke hits my lips it's like nectar of the gods). I am changing!

I know it's a hard road but I will hit my goal. I know I will never be what I used to be (barely tipping the scales at 100lbs) but I be healthy. I may not even be the fittest mom on the block but I will be healthy. My girls will look at me and see a confident woman who isn't hiding in her baggy clothes. My husband will see my long lost confidence and remember why he fell in love with me. I will no longer live in self-pity. I am changing. It has to happen...it is happening...I will be the best version on myself. Period.