What the hell happened? I remember looking at myself in the mirror one day and not recognizing the body I was staring at. Sure, having kids changes your body but what I was staring at was unacceptable. I am heavier now than I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest which is something that is really hard for me to admit. However, I feel admitting it is crucial if I am going to make a change. I have to make a change.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my clothes fitting terribly. I'm tired of having zero energy to play with my kids and I'm tired of not being the person my husband married. And yes, I know my husband didn't marry me because I was skinny. He did, however, marry a woman who was fun, positive, confident, and sexy (who just happened to be 70lbs thinner).
So, what to do? My husband and I just bought a used treadmill from a friend so I would have no excuse to get up and moving. My first workout was a bit rough and discouraging. I could barely make it 15mins at a brisk pace. After talking it over with my husband, we determined I need to start slow which is hard for me because I want results NOW. That being said, I know I need to be patient (no easy feat for me). It's a work in process. I know it will eventually get easier but it's just hard now. Got to jump my mental hurdles.
As for food. Oh Lord, how I love food. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm celebrating...you get the point. Also, if you told me I could only drink Cherry Coke for the rest of my life, I would not argue and would do it gladly. Yes, my diet and eating habits suck! I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet, but yes, diet it going to change. Eating healthy is hard when you have two young children in their "picky eating" stage and a husband who loves to snack and apparently has the metabolism of a hummingbird. Ugh...this might be my biggest hurdle after all.
Overall, I am doing this for me. I want to be that confident woman my husband married and I want to be the fun playful mom I always imagined myself to be. I'm not expecting to get my pre-baby back but I want to be the best possible version of myself I can be. So here's to the journey! Let's hope I can make a life change that is truly life changing...for good.
