Starting Weight: 195
Current Weight: 190
Two weeks in and 5 pounds down. I'm feeling pretty good about this lifestyle change I'm making for myself. There have been some bumps and setbacks but what's important to remember is that I'm making progress. I have to look myself in the mirror every day and remind myself that lasting change is a slow change...but I am changing.
How do I know I'm changing? Well, the way I feel after eating certain things I used to love is a strong indication. First week of changing my eating habits I allowed myself a cheat meal. I did this because I think my self-deprivation habits in the past is what caused me to fail...but anyway. My cheat meal for the week was honey bbq chicken wings and breadsticks from Pizza Hut (don't judge). Eating this used to make me happy. Sure, I felt stuffed but I always felt satisfied. This time was different though. I felt DISGUSTING. I immediately regretted that meal and just felt gross. But, besides feeling gross, I felt like I accomplished a goal. My body, after less than a week of choosing a healthy lifestyle, wanted to eat healthy foods. My body has now started to crave water instead of pop (though I will admit when that cherry coke hits my lips it's like nectar of the gods). I am changing!
I know it's a hard road but I will hit my goal. I know I will never be what I used to be (barely tipping the scales at 100lbs) but I be healthy. I may not even be the fittest mom on the block but I will be healthy. My girls will look at me and see a confident woman who isn't hiding in her baggy clothes. My husband will see my long lost confidence and remember why he fell in love with me. I will no longer live in self-pity. I am changing. It has to happen...it is happening...I will be the best version on myself. Period.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Monday, March 31, 2014
What the hell happened?
What the hell happened? I remember looking at myself in the mirror one day and not recognizing the body I was staring at. Sure, having kids changes your body but what I was staring at was unacceptable. I am heavier now than I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest which is something that is really hard for me to admit. However, I feel admitting it is crucial if I am going to make a change. I have to make a change.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my clothes fitting terribly. I'm tired of having zero energy to play with my kids and I'm tired of not being the person my husband married. And yes, I know my husband didn't marry me because I was skinny. He did, however, marry a woman who was fun, positive, confident, and sexy (who just happened to be 70lbs thinner).
So, what to do? My husband and I just bought a used treadmill from a friend so I would have no excuse to get up and moving. My first workout was a bit rough and discouraging. I could barely make it 15mins at a brisk pace. After talking it over with my husband, we determined I need to start slow which is hard for me because I want results NOW. That being said, I know I need to be patient (no easy feat for me). It's a work in process. I know it will eventually get easier but it's just hard now. Got to jump my mental hurdles.
As for food. Oh Lord, how I love food. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm celebrating...you get the point. Also, if you told me I could only drink Cherry Coke for the rest of my life, I would not argue and would do it gladly. Yes, my diet and eating habits suck! I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet, but yes, diet it going to change. Eating healthy is hard when you have two young children in their "picky eating" stage and a husband who loves to snack and apparently has the metabolism of a hummingbird. Ugh...this might be my biggest hurdle after all.
Overall, I am doing this for me. I want to be that confident woman my husband married and I want to be the fun playful mom I always imagined myself to be. I'm not expecting to get my pre-baby back but I want to be the best possible version of myself I can be. So here's to the journey! Let's hope I can make a life change that is truly life changing...for good.
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my clothes fitting terribly. I'm tired of having zero energy to play with my kids and I'm tired of not being the person my husband married. And yes, I know my husband didn't marry me because I was skinny. He did, however, marry a woman who was fun, positive, confident, and sexy (who just happened to be 70lbs thinner).
So, what to do? My husband and I just bought a used treadmill from a friend so I would have no excuse to get up and moving. My first workout was a bit rough and discouraging. I could barely make it 15mins at a brisk pace. After talking it over with my husband, we determined I need to start slow which is hard for me because I want results NOW. That being said, I know I need to be patient (no easy feat for me). It's a work in process. I know it will eventually get easier but it's just hard now. Got to jump my mental hurdles.
As for food. Oh Lord, how I love food. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm celebrating...you get the point. Also, if you told me I could only drink Cherry Coke for the rest of my life, I would not argue and would do it gladly. Yes, my diet and eating habits suck! I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet, but yes, diet it going to change. Eating healthy is hard when you have two young children in their "picky eating" stage and a husband who loves to snack and apparently has the metabolism of a hummingbird. Ugh...this might be my biggest hurdle after all.
Overall, I am doing this for me. I want to be that confident woman my husband married and I want to be the fun playful mom I always imagined myself to be. I'm not expecting to get my pre-baby back but I want to be the best possible version of myself I can be. So here's to the journey! Let's hope I can make a life change that is truly life changing...for good.
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